I live in Michigan and he lives in Florida. We are engaged to be married in December. I have known him for years but have only seen him on 4 occasions since we have been "together". Being in a long distance relationship is extremley hard. I am crazy in love with him and I try to make him feel special by sending letters and cards, and I text him alot of "just beacuse" texts and pics and stuff.For christmas I made him a very sentimental scrapbook of our relationship and poems.
My problem is is he doesnt do these things for me barely at all. I have actually cried to him about it because it hurts my feelings that he doesnt write letters or text me without ME INITIATING.
I feel like the chaser.
I have told him how an email just "everynow and then" or a card, letter, or even a text that simply says "Thinking about you baby" would mean alot to me but he still wont to do it.
What hurts me most is the fact that I told him how important it is to me. He says that isnt him and he doesnt have the time, and that he is fine with just knowing aI love him and that it should be the same way for me. In my opinion if Im going to be his wife he should want to make me happy even if that means taking five minutes to stop at walgreens and sign his name to a card. I have been with him 9 months and I have gotten one email and one card that was late for valentines day and it was not a love card at all but a humor one.
He has texted me like only a couple times literally in 9 months without me texting him first.
I can see if we seen each other all the time, but we are states apart and to ME these things are more important when thats the only way of communication we have besides the phone.
We do find time to talk about an hour or so a day. But I just crave more of his attention and Im really not asking for much. I mean really how long does it take to text "I miss u" or something?
He claims "I dont text".
well in my mind I hate ironing. But when we live together IAM GONNA IRON his clothes. because I want to make him happy, and do that so he looks nice for work. I dont have to, and I dont really like doing it, but its not always about what I FEEL LIKE doing. Its about wanting to please your partner.
Im really upset and hurt. I just feel like what I tell him I crave from him should matter to him. Im not asking him to send me a letter everyday even one every other month would mean something to me. Right now I dont have anything I can put in a box from him.
So what is his line of thinking? Advice?
This doesn’t bode well.
I’m surprised you are boyfriend and girlfriend, let alone engaged!
He’s not really thinking about you or he’d let you know, that’s NORMAL behaviour. Even the most stoic of Men call home now and then to make sure you are well and to hear your voice.
It sounds like you are far more into this guy than he is into you!
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Exactly why is he your fiance.
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This doesn’t bode well.
I’m surprised you are boyfriend and girlfriend, let alone engaged!
He’s not really thinking about you or he’d let you know, that’s NORMAL behaviour. Even the most stoic of Men call home now and then to make sure you are well and to hear your voice.
It sounds like you are far more into this guy than he is into you!
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Tell him that if simply initiating contact with his FIANCE is "not him" then it is simply "not you" to be with such a self centered piece of shit. I mean come on, really? ANYONE would need this kind of attention that he isn’t giving you. It takes seconds to send a text. That’s really messed up.
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I was in a relationship for 5 months (my last relationship, actually) and my guy did the exact same thing. i would write him poems and made pictures on the computer that took me hours and all that n he drew one picture for me by hand in (it looked like) about 10 minutes. thats it. he ended it about a month ago to go back out with his ex girlfriend that he told me he hated and never wanted to see again. the only reason he had to break up with his ex/current gf was because her mom hated him and made them break up. i then found out he had been telling people that he was only dating me until he could go back out with his ex.
i’m not sure if ur guy is doing the same thing but its possible he is and its possible he isnt. i would talk to his friends (if he has a facebook or anything like that, message the friends on there) and see if he has had any past gfs that he might still care for. Good luck and i hope things turn out in your favor!
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