I live in Michigan and he lives in Florida. We are engaged to be married in December. I have known him for years but have only seen him on 4 occasions since we have been "together". Being in a long distance relationship is extremley hard. I am crazy in love with him and I try to make him feel special by sending letters and cards, and I text him alot of "just beacuse" texts and pics and stuff.For christmas I made him a very sentimental scrapbook of our relationship and poems.
My problem is is he doesnt do these things for me barely at all. I have actually cried to him about it because it hurts my feelings that he doesnt write letters or text me without ME INITIATING.
I feel like the chaser.
I have told him how an email just "everynow and then" or a card, letter, or even a text that simply says "Thinking about you baby" would mean alot to me but he still wont to do it.
What hurts me most is the fact that I told him how important it is to me. He says that isnt him and he doesnt have the time, and that he is fine with just knowing aI love him and that it should be the same way for me. In my opinion if Im going to be his wife he should want to make me happy even if that means taking five minutes to stop at walgreens and sign his name to a card. I have been with him 9 months and I have gotten one email and one card that was late for valentines day and it was not a love card at all but a humor one.
He has texted me like only a couple times literally in 9 months without me texting him first.
I can see if we seen each other all the time, but we are states apart and to ME these things are more important when thats the only way of communication we have besides the phone.
We do find time to talk about an hour or so a day. But I just crave more of his attention and Im really not asking for much. I mean really how long does it take to text "I miss u" or something?
He claims "I dont text".
well in my mind I hate ironing. But when we live together IAM GONNA IRON his clothes. because I want to make him happy, and do that so he looks nice for work. I dont have to, and I dont really like doing it, but its not always about what I FEEL LIKE doing. Its about wanting to please your partner.
Im really upset and hurt. I just feel like what I tell him I crave from him should matter to him. Im not asking him to send me a letter everyday even one every other month would mean something to me. Right now I dont have anything I can put in a box from him.
So what is his line of thinking? Advice?
i get the feeling that men dont attach themselves much to their wife or gf unless they have a regular physical life with them and so are not thinking of giving out those little mementos or affectionate words you seek. he doesnt have that kind of connection to you except that you belong to him and he wouldnt want you to stop doing what you do for him. and if you stopped, there would probably be no relationship at all in your case. but, if you need more from him while youre long distance it probably wont happen. as one answerer said, you could try talking to him and hope things will improve.
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You can’t expect things from him. Thats your problem. I know its hard, but its best to not expect things so you avoid disappointment. That or just talk to the guy
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sounds like you gotta one sided relationship ,,,,,,,,,,, if he were here i think it would be the same
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you sound like a nice girl and he probably does love you, but with you not being there 24-7 or at easy access, he may feel a little disillusioned with the relationship. im in a long distance to (uk and brazil) and i did this exact thing to her once and realised that it was cos she isnt here, i didnt feel like i was in a relationship but now i do after she said pretty much what you did to him. talk to him one more time and if things continue, tell him you dont want it anymore cos you dont feel like your being treated the way you should. hopefully he will understand this and change. i wish you good luck
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experience for 3 years
I’m in a long distance relationship too, maybe someday going to be engaged long distance. I feel like this a lot with my girl, I work for the government 12 hours a day 5-6 days a week and have extra activities or meetings on after work, but I always make sure I text her frequently, at least a few times a day.
She is a student 4 days a week and always claims she is too busy to reply to some of my texts or to talk for long when I call her.
She always seems pretty blunt in phone calls too, as if she’s too busy to talk. Basically, I know what you’re going through. You want to spend the rest of ur life with this person, they’ve committed to the same thing too and yet it seems like you’re the one putting in all the effort and getting little or no response. Your guy seems really distant, and considering he hasn’t changed even after you’ve asked him to shows he doesn’t care about the relationship quite as much as you do. It’s a sad situation, when you do get married you’ll be together much more often and you can be confident things will be better then, it’s just a matter of weathering out this tough period now. Good luck!
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i get the feeling that men dont attach themselves much to their wife or gf unless they have a regular physical life with them and so are not thinking of giving out those little mementos or affectionate words you seek. he doesnt have that kind of connection to you except that you belong to him and he wouldnt want you to stop doing what you do for him. and if you stopped, there would probably be no relationship at all in your case. but, if you need more from him while youre long distance it probably wont happen. as one answerer said, you could try talking to him and hope things will improve.
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